I wish I had the courage to leave Facebook. But I don’t. I’m too afraid I’ll miss something.
But I’m having a really unfortunate realization on Facebook. I’m realizing that I don’t like my friends that much.
Well no, I like my real friends. One in particular — Marshall — probably keeps me on Facebook all by himself, as he posts things that are honestly really interesting. And Doug posts real tips on social media.
But I have “friends of friends” — lots of them — who ended up on my friends list because either I or they figured that because we have 48 mutual friends we must be friends by definition. Or people who read me on the Huffington Post or found me on thecommunity.com or here, and decide to add me to the list of people they like to track. Some people I “friend” because I really like or admire something they do.
Nothing wrong with any of these. And for a freelance anything, networking is always good.
And then — someone talks politics.
I have removed six people from my friends just because it was getting just too uncomfortable reading about their political views. Particularly when they are diametrically opposed to mine.
I was completely shocked to find that someone who I had known somewhat for many years posted an anti-Semitic video. And I don’t mean a video that criticizes Israel. I mean one that refers to the “Synagogues of Satan”. Really? You? Never would have guessed that.
The problem with this is that when you post something like this, all you as the poster see are the congratulatory messages of the friends who agree with you. You don’t see the people you are alienating. Or the people who quietly slip over and “defriend” you when you’re not looking just because they don’t want to keep having to read things that make their blood boil on their Facebook page.
I have clients and potential clients on Facebook. I have people who I contract or could contract for services. I use designers, for example. I almost never know anything about their politics when I hire them, nor do I care. I care about the quality of their design work. But when they’ve become “Facebook friends”, it changes everything. Now I know where they went last weekend, who they had over for dinner — and how they feel about conservatives/liberals.
Unfortunately, when I’ve “defriended” someone, it also means that next time I need the kinds of services that they offer, I likely won’t call them — because now, instead of focusing on their design work, I have to fight the disbelief that anyone with an IQ would support the kinds of political candidates they support. (They would probably, by the way, feel the same about me).
We probably all would have worked together just fine until Facebook changed the whole equation on our relationships.
So what do you do? Refrain from talking religion or politics, as if this were a dinner party that you don’t want to upset? Or have at it, share what you feel, and risk losing potential clients, colleagues and business associates?